There has been a lot of rumours around the town about the Witch of Ballyyahoo and not everyone believes there is one. So that’s why I’m investigating. My neighbour, Maggie-many-cats, thinks that the witch is a woman called Biddy. Last week one of Maggie’s cats brought home a lizard! That’s unusual enough here in the west of Ireland but this lizard had no tail! Maggie said that Biddy must have done it to put in her evil witches brew!
My mum says there is no such thing as witches. She also says the only reason Maggie-Many-Cats calls Biddy a witch is because years ago when they were young and both eejits, they had a row over a fella. She said Biddy got the boyfriend and all Maggie-Many-Cats got was a cheap bracelet and a cat charm.
If that’s true then it’s a daft reason to fall out. Years ago, I fell out with my friend, Izzy over a sea shell. I know that sounds eejity and I know it was stupid too!
It was a lovely summer day and we were beachcombing on Halfamoon beach. We both saw this lovely little white seashell at the exact same time and we both tried to grab it. We ended up pulling so hard that the shell flew away and got lost in the sea. We were both so annoyed that we didn’t speak to each other for two whole weeks.
That was really stupid because not being friends with Izzy was much, much worse than losing a shell! Besides, like my mum said, there’s always another shell on the beach and it’s probably the same with boyfriends as well.
WITCHES, FAIRIES, LEPRECHAUNS, BANSHEES,AND ALL THAT STUFF
My mum doesn’t like me believing in witches, fairies, leprechauns, banshees and all that. She says when she was young lots of people believed in that sort of stuff because they didn’t have anything to do but now we’ve got lots of things to do and so we should ‘keep it real.’ Her friends are the same but what do they know?
The older people in Ballyyahoo are more fun – they believe in loads of things. Lots of the things the oldies believe in are much more exciting than ‘keeping it real.’ Keeping it real is boring!
Maggie-Many-Cats is an oldie. She believes in witches. She warned me not to ever go inside Biddy’s house because if I do Biddy will put a bad spell on me, so I’ll never get a fella, but I told Maggie I don’t care! Maggie-Many-Cats laughed and said I will care one day.
A GOOD WITCH
In a way it would be kind of cool to have a witch as a friend. She’d have to be a good witch though, not an evil ugly one. If Biddy was a good witch she might teach me how to do spells. Cool spells – not ones with slugs and frogs.
I’d love to have a spell to make my homework write itself.
I’d love to have a magic horse take me wherever I want to go.
I’d love to have a spell to tell me when something really great has been washed up on the beach.
HOW TO SEE IF SOMEONE’S REALLY A WITCH
But first, I am going to have to find out if Biddy really is a witch. I heard that here’s only one way to find out if someone really is a witch and that is to hammer a nail into the shadow of their foot.
If they are limping next time you see them, then that means that they are absolutely, definitely a witch! So my plan is – I am going to follow Biddy and hammer a nail into her shadow!
But how can you hammer a nail into someone’s shadow without them catching you. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. The thing about plans is you have to think about them carefully.
So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to have a good think. But I will be back soon and I will let you know what happened and that’s a promise.
Bye for now.