If you have just arrived on this site you should know that this is part two of this story and it’s better to start at the beginning.
To read from the start of Part 1 you can Click here.
Continued…
Maggie Many Cats was hopping mad. She wanted to tear the wet scarf from her head and beat the face off Sergeant Sid but didn’t dare.
Who would feed her cats if she was taken off in handcuffs and locked in the Ballyyahoo jail?
As for Sergeant Sid, well he was both pleased and hungry.
Pleased because he had had the idea of detaining Maggie under The Suspicious-looking Persons of Ballyyahoo Act, and hungry because the squawk-birds had got the better of him – again!
“Maggie, you have been acting very suspiciously in the presence of the sergeant of Ballyyahoo and I must tell that that this is a very serious crime.”
“Oh? Is that more serious than baking on a Tuesday?’ asked Maggie, because according to Sergeant Sid, she had already committed that very crime the previous week.
‘Oh have you been baking today then?’ A big hot apple pie perhaps? A great big jam sponge with cream and freshly made blackberry jam? Or maybe a dozen or two of those chocolatey buns with lashings of chocolatey sauce smothering them?”
At the thought of all those cakes Sergeant Sid’s mouth watered so much it was hard for him to keep the slobber in.
“No, I wasn’t baking today, and for your information I won’t be baking on a Tuesday ever again. Like I said, I’m only making soup, to try and stave off an attack of the old stiff-bones and that’s why I only bought these” said Maggie-Many-Cats, taking the head of broccoli, carrots and onions out of her pockets and showing them to Sid.
“Oh, but you’ll surely have bought a bit of cake and a few biscuits to have after your soup then?” said Sid, mopping a long slimey trail of slobber from his chin with his sleeve.
“I did not! Sure, how would I be able to climb up Ballyyahoo mountain with the Ballyyahoo walking club if I was always eating cake and biscuits. Sure, I have to keep myself in shape,” said Maggie, as she placed the vegetables back in her pockets.
“I was up the mountain myself in 1954, sure there’s nothing up there except a few goats,” said Sid.
“I like goats,” said Maggie.
“I like cakes and biscuits,” said Sid.
“I like walking.”
“Can’t see the point of it myself,” said Sid.
“No? Well, you should try it Sid. The more you do it, the faster you go, and the faster you go, the faster you catch the gurriers.”
‘Sure, I’ve more to be doing that exhausting myself chasing gurriers, Maggie.”
‘Well, I’ve more to be doing than standing here soaking up the rain. Now, if you’ve finished detaining me under the suspicious-whatever-you-call it-thingiemejig, then I have to be getting home. I want me roof over me head and I want to get the soup on and look after the cats. The poor things will be starving.”
Maggie turned to go. She had only taken five short steps up the road when she heard a sound she dreaded – the sound of Sergeant Sid calling her to come back.
“Just a minute, Maggie,” said Sergeant Sid.
“Yes, Sid what is it?”
“Did you know it’s against the law to make soup on a Tuesday?”
“No, Sid, I didn’t know it was against the law to make soup on a Tuesday and that’s because it was never against the law to make soup on a Tuesday. I thought it was only against the law to bake cakes on a Tuesday?”
‘What? No, wherever did you get that idea? If you want to bake cakes today it’d be grand. You could start with a big hot apple pie perhaps and maybe after that you could get going on a great big jam sponge with cream and freshly made blackberry…”
”I’m making soup, Sid and that’s all I’m making,’ said Maggie, who was getting crosser and crosser and was afraid her face would explode with all that burning crossness.
‘Well, like I said, Maggie, tis against the law,’ said Sid, hoping he’d remember to write this law down in his book.
‘That’s a load of old guff and nonsense, there’s no such law in the whole of Ireland.”
“Well, there is in Ballyyahoo,” said Sid.
“Since when?”
“It’s a new law that was only introduced today.”
“Another one,” muttered Maggie.
“What was that?” asked Sid.
Poor Maggie didn’t answer, she knew if she didn’t get away soon, Sid would make up more and more laws. She also knew there was only one way to stop him, and that was to offer to pay a fine – an edible fine.
She dug deep into her coat pocket right underneath the onions and took out a small bar of chocolate. Maggie had been saving that chocolate for an emergency. She decided that this was the emergency.
“Would this pay the fine?” asked Maggie.
“Well, now I think that just might be the very thing,” said Sid with a big slobbery grin.
She handed Sid the chocolate and went on her way as fast as she could. She didn’t want to give Sid any more time to make up new laws.
Maggie had another bar of chocolate in her pocket – for an ultra emergency and she had already decided that there just might be an ultra emergency that very night.
For some fun stories from Ballyyahoo click here.
No comments yet.