POLICE IN BALLYYAHOO
Sergeant Sid is a member of the Ballyyahoo police force. Actually he is the only member of Ballyyahoo police force.
The real police force in Ireland is much bigger and they are called, An
Garda Síochána, but people in Ireland just call them the gards.
Most gards in Ireland are busy trying to catch criminals and preventing crime.
But, Ballyyahoo is different. You see there’s hardly any crime in Ballyyahoo. It’s a very small town, everybody knows everyone else and everyone knows what’s going on. You can learn more about Ballyyahoo here.
Ballyyahooians are a very honest bunch of people and generally speaking, unless it rains two days in a row, they tend to treat each other very well.
BORED WITLESS IN BALLYYAHOO
Of course, Ballyyahooians are human too (mostly) and they do have arguments and rows, but nothing serious, and nothing to keep Sergeant Sid from being bored witless.
When Sid get’s bored witless he starts thinking, and when Sid starts thinking trouble starts.
You see Sergeant Sid’s a creative sort and he loves to make things up, only thing is he doesn’t make up a story, a tale, or even a good old yarn, what he makes up is crimes – lots and lots of crimes.
NEW LAWS IN BALLYYAHOO
Apart from making it illegal to wear trainers on a Wednesday, or to carry school bags on the right shoulder, Sergeant Sid has recently written the following crimes into the law-book of Ballyyahoo.
CRIME IN BALLYYAHOO
- All kids must say: ‘Good morning, Sergeant Sid, Sir’ whenever they see Sergeant Sid.
- All donkeys must have a light with fully functioning batteries.
- There must be no spiders, or ants hiding under the saddles of two-wheeled vehicles (bicycles)
- No child is allowed to eat barbecue beef flavoured crisps.
- All shoes must be polished and shone every school night.
- Children are not allowed to walk on the left side of the Ballyyahoo Main Street.
- And finally, no child is ever allowed speak to Sergeant Sid without being spoken to first, unless it is to say ‘Good morning, Sergeant Sid, Sir.’
HUNGRY SERGEANT SID
What’s really confusing is that these crimes vary every day. One day it’s okay to walk on the left side of the road in Ballyyahoo and the next day it’s not.
It all depends on the mood Sergeant Sid is in and whether he is hungry or not. If Sergeant Sid is hungry then – everyone has to watch out.
The fines for all these crimes are payable only by sweets, cakes, crisps, bananas and sandwiches.
If any of these laws seem a bit unfair to you, imagine how the kids in Ballyyahoo feel!
The poor Ballyyahooians have been complaining about these laws being unfair for years, but Sergeant Sid never changes his mind. He just says ‘it’s not about being fair – it’s about the law!’
As far as we know, Sergeant Sid is one of a kind. He’s not a bad man, just a bored man, and as you know, bored people have a habit of making problems.
One of the people he makes the most problems for is poor old Maggie-many-cats.
Maggie loves cakes and sweet things and every time she is about to settle down with something sweet Sergeant Sid turns up and accuses her of some silly crime like making soup on a Thursday, or peeling apples on a Tuesday.
As you may have guessed Maggie-many-cats doesn’t just love sweet things, she also loves cats and she spends most of her time rescuing poor starving cats and kittens.
You see there’s an awful lot of stupid people living in Ballyyuseless and they often give cats to each other as Christmas presents.
Then, when it comes time to bring the cats to the vet, or buy food or medicine they don’t want to pay, they’d rather spend their money on stupid things.
So, they get fed up with the poor cats and kittens and dump them all on their own in the Witchy Woods.
It’s not just the people in Ballyyuseless who throw out their cats and kittens when they get fed up with them. Sadly there are people all over Ireland doing this as well.
But, if you like cats and you like cat stories and would like to know how you could help save some of these poor little cats and kittens click here.
As for Sergeant Sid you can read a story about how he got squawked by a Squawk-bird here.
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