Welcome to Ballyyahoo. Ballyyahoo is a tiny town. In fact, it’s so tiny it could fit on the head of a pin – a very small pin.
The location of Ballyyahoo is Ireland’s best kept secret. So, all I can say is that it’s somewhere hidden on Ireland’s Wild Atlantic Way.
It’s secret because it’s magic and magic because – well, let’s just say there might be a witch.
But of course she’s not an ordinary witch – she’s a very special crime fighting witch.
Any town that has magic as well as a secret – has to be special and as you know, Ireland is a special place too.
You’ll have to keep coming here to find out. The more you visit the more you will know.
If, and only if, you know exactly where to look.
If you were in Ballyyahoo you just might want to look in the depths of the Witchy Woods.
Ballyyahoo is so special and so secret that you can run to every corner of the country and ask everyone you meet where it is, but nobody will ever be able to tell you.
The only people that know are the people who live there.
But, you can search up and down the whole of the Wild Atlantic Way, with a fine-toothed comb, from now until the end of time, and you won’t find a single Ballyyahooian.
But if by magic you did meet someone from Ballyyahoo and asked them for directions, they might tell you that Ballyyahoo is on the road to Clare.
Or, they might say it’s on the coast of Mayo, they might even say it’s in Sligo town, or hidden between the mountains of Donegal.
But, what they won’t say is that it’s in Galway Bay, and that’s because it’s probably not there either!
CRIME IN BALLYYAHOO
One of the greatest things about Ballyyahoo is that there is no crime.
But, since there’s no crime in Ballyyahoo our only policeman, Sergeant Sid, is bored. Very bored.
Sid is so bored he spends most of his time making up crimes and laws of his own.
Some of those laws are a little bit strange – like wearing odd socks, or riding a bike with a spider, or having no lights on a donkey.
THE SCARIEST BOG
The difference is that the Ballyyahoo bog is the boggiest, scariest, darkest, mistiest bog of all and as I said – there are a lot of bogs in Ireland.
AND THE SCARIEST BANSHEE IN THE WHOLE OF IRELAND
As well as being the scariest bog, our bog’s got the scariest Banshee!
Nobody ever speaks about her out loud because she’s got amazing hearing skills.
If she hears you talking about her then before you can put your finger to your lips she will be on her way to come and get you!
If a Banshee comes to get you – well, let’s just say the population of Ballyyahoo is small enough.
There’s only fifty people living in Ballyyahoo and that’s not many, so if you come here again you’ll soon get to know them all.
There’s only one shop; Kelly’s shop, which sells everything you could possibly need.
Kelly’s shop also serves as a post office and meeting place.
We’ve got one Church, one pub, one school and one rusty old post-box that nobody ever puts anything in, apart from bits of chomped up chewing gum and a few old crisp bags.
CREATURES OF BALLYYAHOO
Now, some of them can be a little bit strange.
Take for example Daffo the donkey.
Paddy Plant is Ballyyahoo’s oldest resident and Daffo belongs to him.
Daffo has a terrible weakness for carrots and apples and has been known to go mad to get them.
Gerry Mac took Daffo for a walk one day and she caused mayhem in Ballyyahoo. You can read that story here.
Ballyyahoo also has it’s own little flock of squawking squawk birds.